My first blog post
A couple of days ago, 16 May 2022 to be precise, was the international day of the boy child, and my first
reaction was, "Isn't it always his day, though?"
But a few clock-ticks down the hour, I embarked on a journey down a long, wide and slippery lane of contemplation.
Conversations around the girl child education- or the lack thereof, female repression in our patriarchal societies, gender imbalance on the corporate, entrepreneurial, and political scenes, gender-based violence, and such other pressing issues will not cease to feature on our radar for a while to come. I am particularly encouraged at the leaps and bounds being taken to bridge this almost interminable gorge. From female prime ministers, ambassadors, vice-chancellors, and CEOs, to women owning large acres of farmlands; making their marks on the Agricultural map, young girls excelling in the sciences; winning international mathematics competitions, and little girls with no apparent means responding with a light in their eyes, "I want to be a pilot or doctor," when asked, "What do you want to be in future?" The battle is fierce, and I am confident in the many who will not stop until this ugly chasm is filled. But this is not where my journey of contemplation terminated. My destination surprised me in more ways than one.
As we fight fiercely against the obvious thief of humanity; the foot, or feet, on the neck of femininity, might we not be caught off guard by a less obvious one? The thief of harmony; the hand, or hands, around the neck of masculinity? While emphasis, and rightly so, is being placed on elevating, emancipating, and empowering the girl, slowly but surely, no one is paying the boy any mind! His true essence is gently being pushed into the dark damp corner of obscurity!
The internet is replete with motivational speakers, tooting horns about how the female, the girl, is enough in herself, should 'live her best life', should never diminish herself with the hope of attaining marriage, all rightly so too. But how equipped are our boys? Are they learning to match their testosterone pumped bodies, in thought and deed?
"If boys don't learn, men won't know."- Douglas Wilson.
Sadly, we suffer a massive and unending whipping out of tall, old boys with lots of muscles and hair. If you doubt me, take a poll of some sort, and ask young adult men what ideals they hold dear to their hearts or what legacy they hope to leave behind. The truth is most of them hold the weird notion of YOLO!
Unfettered, unchecked, unnoticed, an ulcer thrives in our world today. Daily, the values and codes of manhood are being watered down as we reverently look to western societies, lapping at their every whimsical concept of new-age living. We reckon mimicking 'them' hard enough will , perhaps, make us become 'them'. We forget or pretend not to recognise their desperate clawbacks. Clawbacks evident in the unprecedented number of YouTube channels churning out conservative ideals, and the steady filling up of church buildings or religious concert arenas, with souls so scorched from their search for the saner days.
And why not? The significance of fatherhood in families has become a caricature, a travesty. Boys have mastered the art of evading the responsibility of fatherhood, husband-hood and , I dare say, adulthood.
Many would argue for some people who do not care for a family, in the traditional sense of the word, a husband, a wife and children. True, but the 'some' in question is an insignificant 'some'. Our religious outfits can attest to the throngs of ladies praying down their husbands at countless meetings. Not to mention the growing popularity of the dated culture of polygamy, with ladies opting to play pretend wife, wife number two, maybe number three. Where are the men? I'll tell you where they are; in their nappies, waiting for their mummies' attention.
Who will massage the backbones of our boys into spines rigid enough to withstand societal pressures? Are they being taught to chin up and chest out? To resist and defy society's notion of success? Are our boys being taught the place of discretion in forging lasting spousal relationships? That they attract only what they themselves exude? That attraction to the opposite gender must be skin, cleavage and thigh deep? Who is teaching our boys about the true place of men in the society? Who is teaching our boys that they need stable homes as much as, I dare say more than, the girls do? Who is teaching our boys that a grown man does not throw tantrums by going in search of a mistress when 'the wife' deprives him of mutual benevolence, but doubles down to fix the cause of the deprivation? Who will teach our boys to become kings who will in turn find queens to build their kingdoms with? And who will teach our boys, when their kingdoms experience varying degrees of internal crisis, to fix their crisis, rather than run to daddy, mummy, friends, or social media? Are we doing enough?
Until the predator learns to detest hunting for prey, the thief of harmony will ever prevail. More than grooming our girls to fight against, to protect themselves from, and to rise above feminine repression, is anyone teaching our boys the true meaning of superiority? Is anyone teaching them how ugly, depraved, and weak it is to think they are sterling versions of girls?
"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self."- Winston Churchill.
It is time to stop the man drain in the name of sophistication. Time is at hand to cease our pandering to outright lies and half-truths.
CODE RED! CODE RED! CODE RED ! Men going extinct ! CODE RED !